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Name: Steve Ende
Location: Bayside, NY
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You Can Learn a Lot at a Garage Sale


I happened to stop by a garage sale over the weekend. Saw some rather nice things displayed on the lawn. Curious, I asked the gent selling the merchandise why he was selling such good stuff.

Some of the items either were no longer needed or had stopped serving their original purpose. In addition, the gentleman's wife had gotten laid off and they were in financial trouble and, frankly, could use every dime they could get.

It got me thinking. The U.S. is in a financial crisis. And we certainly have stuff we either don't need or which no longer serves its original purpose. Obvious conclusion. It's time the U.S. had a garage sale.

We should sell Detroit. Put it right out there on the lawn.

Preferably, we should sell it to the Chinese since it seems they're the guys to whom we owe all the deficit money. With the exception of Hong Kong, Shanghai, and possibly Beijing on an unusual smogless day, most Chinese cities frankly suck. Detroit would fit right in.

With a population of 1,850,000 people as recently as the late '70's, Detroit was America's fourth largest city. Today, with fewer than a million folks, it is 11th. There are under a million people still remaining who so far have been unable to find their way out. There are technical terms demographers and population experts use to describe the people who have left. They call them Arizonans. Sometimes Texans. Occasionally Floridians.

Detroit's crime rate is legendary. The only reason it isn't higher is because they're running out of victims as the population recedes. Its school system is in a complete shambles. There are so many abandoned buildings that when one of them turns into a crack house it is considered urban renewal.

Proudly calling itself the single most liberal city in America, Detroit has been in total Democratic Party control since the mid-1950's and has reached the only logical conclusion of that control. The unions, the environmentalists and the regulations of their Democratic henchmen in government have basically eliminated automobile manufacturing, once the city's pre-eminent privately-owned industry. No jobs, other than government ones, have been created to replace those lost. Small businesses that tried to survive were taxed into oblivion by Mayor Coleman Young and his corrupt cronies. Detroit is the poster child for every urban horror you ever imagined. It's like Newark on steroids.

Like many of those items I saw at the garage sale, we simply do not need Detroit any more. There is nothing left. The liberal parasites have devoured the host. Time to bring in the carrion-eaters.

The Chinese, on the other hand, have too many people and too little space. That's why for years they've been limiting the number of children their citizens can have. They need the room. We need the money. We should sell them Detroit in exchange for them wiping out the U.S. deficit. They get space for hundreds of thousands of citizens they can ship off to Detroit and we get to stave off bankruptcy for a few more years. Everybody wins.

Anybody who has ever attended a garage sale can see the benefits.

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Explaining Government Health Care

The Democrats claim there is a lot of "misinformation" about HR3200, the health care legislation they're trying to serve up to the American people like an unrequested colonoscopy. Let's examine some of the points of contention and see what's myth and what's the real story.

Myth 1.

There's simply no way the same number of doctors can absorb 45-million new patients without rationing care and treatment.

The Real Story.

Who says we have to have the same number of doctors? Courts can easily declare state medical exams and current physician licensing procedures "culturally and racially biased," just like Judge Sotomayor did with that exam that denied promotion to firemen. To "level the playing field", physicians' affirmative action programs will be instituted for minorities and community activists.This will result in a huge influx of new doctors to handle all the new patients. Since all doctors will probably have to join the SEIU (unclear at this time), the union will choose your doctors for you, thereby relieving you of that difficult and time-consuming decision. This also ensures all the new doctors get an equal number of patients. This "levels the playing field" and brings "fairness" into the system.

Myth 2.

The government plan contains "death squads" whose job it is to deny seniors treatment or benefits that may prolong their life if those seniors are not considered valuable enough to warrant medical treatment.

The Real Story.

No! The so-called "death squads" are simply "advance care end of life planning consultants." This is simply a jobs program for ACORN members. They will go around and tell old folks that the government thinks it's time for them to enter the ol' void and explain the various government-approved, cost-effective methods available.They will not go around killing people. They will not be armed. Rest easy. Only government-approved physicians get to write the actual "end of life order." Because the government believes in freedom and choice, you decide what method (e.g. lethal injection, natural causes,) your termination will take.

Myth 3.

I don't want the government coming between me and my doctor.

The Real Story.

Nobody will come between you and your doctor. Your doctor will continue to prescribe the treatment he or she feels is in your best interest. It is the "Health Choices Commission" that will simply not approve or pay for that treatment and it will be denied.

Myth 4.

Any individual who does not enroll in a government-approved health care plan will be taxed 2.5% of annual income.

The Real Story.

Again not true. Not all such individuals will be taxed. Illegal aliens who do not enroll are specifically exempt from this tax. Only American citizens who are not members of Congress or the executive branch will have to pay it. Should you give up your citizenship, leave the country and then re-enter it illegally, you're totally exempt!

Myth 5.

Since there's no way that for-profit private insurance companies can possibly compete with a government not-for-profit system, I will be forced out of my private insurance into the government system.

The Real Story.

All private insurance companies will be required to come under the umbrella of the "Health Care Exchange", which will determine what benefits private companies can offer and how much can be charged for them. The Health Care Exchange will tell the private companies how much (if any) profit they can make, just as they will tell individual physicians how much they can make. This keeps costs down and benefits you. It is unclear at this time what penalties, if any, will accrue to private insurance companies who dare go out of business.

Myth 6.

Through electronic banking, the government will have real-time access to all my bank accounts for the purposes of electronic funds transfer and can literally steal as much money as they choose from my account.

The Real Story.

Would a government official steal? C'mon. Don't look at this as stealing. In order to cut waste and trim costs the government must reduce the enormous amount of paperwork work inherent in medical record-keeping. Plus, this is actually an environmental bonus. It will save trees.

Myth 7.

The government is trying to kill Grandma.

The Real Story.

Patently false! They're trying to kill Grandpa, too.

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